The multi-year standoff between Adeena Kohn and Raphael (Raphi) Stein is not just a divorce; it is a textbook case of how a father was railroaded—from simply seeking to have his kids visit Monsey for a month to recover—to being instantly labeled a Gett refuser and subjected to intense coercion.
Importantly, Stein had already worked with Kohn to initiate the divorce together, in Canada, their home, before all this started. He had already agreed to very partial custody. But the ex-wife wanted it all.
Many have asked what happened here. What looks like a confusing barrage of reciprocal excommunications is, in reality, Raphi Stein’s brilliant legal counter-strategy to fight back. His entire defensive strategy hinges on an aggressive, decisive move to “flip the switch” on a critical piece of New York civil legislation: Domestic Relations Law (DRL) § 253, widely known as the New York Get Law.
The “Flip the Switch” Argument: How a Protective Civil Law Became a Rabbinic Shield
To understand the rabbinic warfare that followed, one must understand how a civil filing on October 4, 2021 (Index No. 35657/2021) in Rockland County, New York, became the focal point of the husband’s defense.
Under New York DRL § 253, any plaintiff filing for a civil divorce who was married in a religious ceremony must sign a sworn affidavit attesting that they have taken, or will take, all steps within their power to remove all “barriers to remarriage” (the Jewish divorce document, or Get) for the other spouse.
- The Intent of the Law: The legislature designed DRL § 253 to protect women from becoming Agunot (chained wives). It prevents a husband from withholding a Get as financial or custodial leverage during a civil divorce. By signing it, Adeena officially declared to the State of New York that she was prepared to facilitate a religious divorce.
- The Rabbinic Twist: Instead of complying, Raphael’s rabbinic defense team flipped the script on this filing. In strict Jewish law (Halacha), entering secular civil courts (Arkaot) without explicit rabbinic permission is a severe transgression.
- The Strategy: The moment Adeena filed that civil affidavit on October 4, 2021, the husband’s defensive court used it to frame her as the bad-faith actor. They argued that because she initiated a secular lawsuit first, Raphael was completely justified under Jewish law to refuse to appear before her chosen rabbinical courts until she dropped the civil case. By doing this, they effectively “flipped the switch”—turning a civil law meant to penalize Get refuseniks into a religious shield that wiped away his “refusenik” status entirely.
The Paper Trail: A Timeline of the Escalation
By viewing the documents through the lens of this “flip the switch” strategy, the chaotic timeline from 2022 to 2025 suddenly becomes clear:
1. October 4, 2021 – The Civil Inception
Adeena Kohn files for divorce in the Supreme Court of New York, executing the mandatory DRL § 253 affidavit.
2. June 22, 2022 – The First Contempt Order (Beis Aharon, Brooklyn)
Eight months later, the rabbinical court of Beis Aharon issues a Writ of Refusal (Ktab Seruv) against Raphael Stein. The court notes that Raphael has ignored multiple summonses to sign an arbitration agreement (Shtar Berurin) to litigate their domestic issues under Jewish law.
3. June 1, 2023 – Mainstream Sanctions (Beth Din of America, New York)
The case transitions to the Beth Din of America, a premier mainstream tribunal led by Rabbi Mordechai Willig. Because Raphael still refuses to cooperate with the delivery of a Get, the court issues a second, more severe Shtar Seruv.
Crucial Turning Point: Because Raphael is withholding the Get, this document grants Adeena explicit rabbinic permission to pursue her interests in secular court—effectively sanctioning the civil case she already opened.
4. July 4, 2025 – The Counter-Strike (Beis Din Mishpat Hatorah, Monsey)
Two years into intense civil litigation, a private rabbinical court in Monsey called Mishpat Hatorah enters the fray to execute the husband’s counter-strategy.
First, they aggressively attack the head of the Beth Din of America, issuing a Writ of Excommunication (Ktab Nidui) against Rabbi Mordechai Willig. They accuse him of “spilling innocent blood” by authorizing Adeena’s secular proceedings and command the public to treat him as excommunicated.
5. July 7, 2025 – The Nullification (Mishpat Hatorah)
The Monsey court issues a Bittul Seruv (Nullification of Refusal), formally declaring Raphael Stein to be a “completely law-abiding citizen” (Tzayit Dina Gamur).
This is where the “flip the switch” logic is codified into rabbinic text. The court argues that Raphael is not a refusenik because he is perfectly willing to give a Get—but only if they litigate in an Israeli rabbinical court, and only if Adeena completely drops the New York civil lawsuits she initiated back in 2021.
6. July 8, 2025 – The Direct Ultimatum to the Wife (Mishpat Hatorah)
The Monsey court issues a final warning (Hataraat Beit Din) directly to Adeena Kohn, threatening her with a counter-Seruv and branding her a religious violator if she does not withdraw her civil lawsuit immediately.
Secondary Tactics: The Weapon of the “Coerced Get”
Beyond resetting the narrative around DRL § 253, the husband’s defense deployed a second powerful halachic technicality: the concept of a Coerced Divorce (Get Me’useh).
Under Jewish law, a religious divorce must be given of the husband’s own free will. If a husband hands over a Get solely because a secular New York civil judge threatens him with financial ruin or incarceration, that divorce can be rendered completely invalid in the Orthodox world.
The Monsey court’s July 8 warning states explicitly:
“…any pressure exerted on your husband via secular courts will render any resulting Get null and void.”
By framing Adeena’s civil proceeding as an illegal coercive tool, the Monsey court attempted to render any civil victory she achieved useless. If she uses the civil court to force his hand, the resulting Get will be branded scrap paper—effectively neutralizing the teeth of New York’s Domestic Relations Law.
Summary for Blog Readers
What appears to be an incredibly confusing mess of rabbinic decrees is Raphi Stein’s calculated, brilliant strategy to fight back against being railroaded and coerced.
- Coercion & Refusal Label: The wife, Adeena Kohn, utilized NY DRL § 253 to initiate a civil divorce, leading to him being labeled a non-compliant husband by mainstream rabbinic backing (Beth Din of America). Note that Raphi Stein has also been battling an international child custody dispute under the Hague Convention.
- Fighting Back: Raphi Stein used a localized, private tribunal (Mishpat Hatorah) to “flip the switch,” successfully arguing that Adeena’s civil filing constituted a baseline religious violation. This aggressive move retroactively erased his status as a “refusenik” and stalled the divorce indefinitely under the threat of an invalid, coerced Get.
Written with the help of AI.
Writing by Dr. Dannielle Blumenthal 