Misogynistic Jewish men call it “feminist cancel culture” when a community backs a woman whose husband won’t give a get. But get-refusal isn’t a hashtag. It’s a halachic problem with real consequences.
- What get-refusal actually is halachically
A man is obligated m’d’oraita to support his wife while married.
When the marriage is functionally over and he withholds a get to control, extort, or punish her, poskim throughout the generations have identified this as iggun and oseik b’dinei shamayim.
Rav Moshe Feinstein, Igrot Moshe E.H. 4:106, holds that when a civil divorce is issued and the couple no longer lives together, forcing the woman to remain an agunah is “a great injustice.”
Rav Ovadia Yosef, Yabia Omer E.H. 9:13, rules that beth din has authority to use all pressure permitted by Choshen Mishpat 338 to compel a get when the husband is acting shelo k’din.
Withholding a get to gain leverage in custody or money disputes is oseik b’mamon chavero.
Shulchan Aruch E.H. 154:21 and Rema discuss cases where beit din can coerce a get when the husband is causing his wife “tzaar gadol.”
Modern batei din including the Beth Din of America have formalized this under harchakot d’Rabbeinu Tam when a civil divorce exists and the husband refuses without halachic claim.
- “Where is permission to go to civil court?”
The case of Kohn v. Stein, Rockland Supreme 035657/2021 has been cited in public discussion.
The question presumes she needed heter arkaot.
But the halacha is:
- Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat 26:1: One may not go to secular court if a beit din can adjudicate.
- Rema: If the other party refuses to appear in beit din, or if beit din cannot enforce its ruling, then one may get permission to go to civil court.
- Pitchei Teshuva C.M. 26:3 and Aruch HaShulchan C.M. 26:3: When the husband is already in civil court or refuses to come to beit din, the wife does not violate issur arkaot by defending herself there.
In most contemporary agunah cases, the husband either filed first in civil court, refused to sign a shtar berurin (arbitration agreement), or ignored a hazmana.
Batei din routinely issue heter arkaot in those circumstances.
Without seeing the beit din file, you can’t claim she lacked permission.
The public court docket doesn’t show beit din correspondence.
- “Suppressing the husband’s side”
Due process is a halachic value: Sanhedrin 8b, “shema bein acheichem.”
A responsible beit din hears both parties.
Organizations that publish names of get-refusers, like the ORA resolution, only do so after:
- Hazmanot were sent and ignored,
- A seruv was issued by a reputable beit din,
- The husband was given opportunity to answer the claim.
If a specific husband has a ta’anah that his wife violated halacha, he can bring it to beit din.
“She went to court” is not a blanket defense if he refused beit din first.
Rema E.H. 154:3 says a claim that she “deserves” to be chained is not a ta’anah unless the beit din finds ma’aseh ervah or equivalent grounds.
- “Fake agunah victim”
An agunah is defined by Shulchan Aruch E.H. 17: a woman who cannot remarry because she has no get and no proof her husband died.
A woman with a civil divorce whose husband refuses a get is m’ugganet — chained.
That’s not “created” by feminists.
It’s created by the man refusing to give the get.
The halachic standard isn’t “did she make me angry,” it’s “is there a halachic requirement to divorce?”
When the marriage is dead, many poskim hold there is a chiyuv to give a get: Rambam Hilchot Gerushin 2:20, Beit Shmuel 154:17, Igrot Moshe E.H. 1:137.
Bottom line:
Calling public support for agunot “cancel culture” flips the victim and the abuser.
Halacha doesn’t grant a man veto power over his wife’s life because he feels unheard.
If he has a real ta’anah, beit din is the address.
If he ignores beit din and uses the get as a weapon, then harchakot and community pressure are the remedies Chazal and poskim gave us.
If you think Raphael Stein has a halachic defense, cite the psak. “Feminist cancel culture” isn’t a teshuva.
Written with the help of AI.
Writing by Dr. Dannielle Blumenthal 