Okay, so I want to talk about a couple of things. The first is why so many people are confused about the Raphi Stein issue—or what I’m going to call the Raphi Stein issue.
It is really the Kohn vs. Stein divorce, similar to the Lonna Kin case. One of the central issues is a dispute over the Beis Din (rabbinical court). One is the Beis Din that Raphi Stein went to. He had an issue with the Beis Din of America, so he went to another rabbinical court called the Seidenfeld Beis Din in Monsey. They issued their own declarations, among which was an invitation to Adeena Kohn to come to a neutral court so the Beis Din could hear the case inclusive of all matters: civil, financial, custody, and the get (Jewish divorce document). However, this did not receive a response.
There are those who say this isn’t a “real” Beis Din and the prior seruv from the Beis Din of America applies. That one didn’t require a neutral Beis Din to hear all matters but rather allowed Kohn to avail herself of the NY State court system.
Now, because the case is there, a specific law called DRL 253 (Domestic Relations Law) applies. Under this law, the plaintiff, Adeena Kohn, who is actively litigating the case, must state that she has done everything in her power to remove barriers to remarriage. What this means in practice is that if her legal team can prove to the judge that she has removed all barriers—meaning they offered every opportunity for Raphi to give a get and he refused—then the court can penalize him.
This essentially creates a coerced get. They can use social pressure tactics, as you’ve been seeing, to make it seem as though he is the one entirely at fault. It is a highly complicated halachic (Jewish legal) situation where she has some pretty high-powered lawyers utilizing what amounts to dirty tricks.
With Lonna Kin, another court—the Gestetner Beis Din—received the get back in 2008. Again, there is an argument circulating that this is not a legitimate Beis Din, and therefore the get doesn’t count. That is completely false; it is a very legitimate Beis Din. The get was there, but she did not come to collect it for seven years.
While there is certainly a lot of additional context around that case, I wanted to clear up that at the heart of both matters is a disputed Beis Din and an unconstitutional New York State law.
The second thing I wanted to get to this morning has to do with the feminist movement. Honestly, having a PhD in sociology with a specialization in feminism, a dissertation on the subject, and having written about feminist-related topics like domestic abuse, human trafficking, and victim advocacy for about 20 years, I do feel qualified to speak on this. First of all, I would like to dispel any notion that I am supporting the patriarchy. Anyone who knows me or has read my writing knows that idea is a joke.
The truth is, mainstream feminism has never advocated for destroying men, putting men at a disadvantage, hurting them, or making them subservient to women. That is a projection and a fantasy that simply does not exist in the literature, nor should it. Feminism is fundamentally about different analyses of how society became unfair to women and how those areas of inequality can be remedied.
In the context of the Jewish community, people ask: why are so many women so angry, and why does their anger seem so intense that it is almost difficult to understand? The fact of the matter is that for decades, issues like rabbinic pedophilia affecting both girls and boys, as well as domestic abuse, were swept under the rug. Women couldn’t openly talk about it. They stood no chance of getting a fair hearing anywhere—not in the family courts, and certainly not in the Beis Din. Women often lacked financial independence and had no knowledge of how to help themselves.
When I was growing up, there was only one female in the family who had obtained a PhD; everyone else was a paraprofessional or a stay-at-home mother. The reality of women being truly independent, highly educated, recognized in the workforce, and valued as autonomous individuals—rather than strictly for their domestic role as home-builders—just wasn’t there yet.
Unfortunately, I have also had the experience of witnessing the trauma of a rape victim, and I never want to see that kind of pain again. So, let’s show a little mercy.
Writing by Dr. Dannielle Blumenthal 